I'm Going Back to Charm School

This upcoming Tuesday, November 20th, is Vietnamese Teacher Day, and it’s not just some Hallmark sponsored holiday created to sell seasonally specific stationary. However, that’s not to suggest that there will never be a Teacher Day Television Channel that loops syndicated servings of Mash and Walker Texas Ranger. Regardless, it’s a genuine celebration of appreciation for the country’s educators, a role that, in accordance with Vietnam’s Confucian tradition, cannot be overemphasized.

In some of the more traditional cities and towns that comprise this land, a country trying so hard to find its place between the teetering tension of modernization and heritage, it’s not uncommon for an educator to carry the lifelong title of teacher, (thay for men and co for women) even when conducting the most casual of conversations with former students from many years past. Quite simply, once a teacher, always a teacher.

As one who has clumsily stumbled into this pristinely prized position mainly on the crude credential of growing up in a country of English speakers, such devotion is quite a sobering notion. As a teacher, you convey much more than the subject or process preceding each number on some school issued scholastic schedule. Every action, in and out of the classroom, becomes an important part of the course’s curriculum, completely independent of whether or not it ever appears on any administered exam. This holiday is a testimony to that fact.

Last Thursday, a class of first year students presented me with a brightly colored bouquet, which, judging by the floral stockpile accumulating here in the guesthouse between the five of us, is the standard token of educational appreciation. As a guy, it was a new experience receiving such a gift, but luckily, that day, I happened to be wearing a flannel pants suit, which, of course, was sleeveless. I mean nothing makes a better canvas for a tat of your own face than a huge bulging bicep. Needless to say, I still felt tough.

On Tuesday, our classes are cancelled, and in their stead, we will attend an assembly held in honor of the institute’s academic antagonists, otherwise know as, the teachers. Taking place in the nation of Vietnam, the ceremony will, surprisingly enough, be conducted in Vietnamese. In turn, as is the regular routine, I will follow the cues from those surrounding me in the stands, and, from their example, attempt to smile and laugh and nod and clap at the appropriate times. They could be telling me that only films like Over the Top, which expose what the once glorious sport of American arm wrestling has sadly become, are true forms artistic expression. It doesn’t matter, if the audience agrees, then so do I. But seriously, and in all honesty, I really am looking forward to the event.

However, I do have some possible ideas of how this occasion could be momentously manifested back in the states. Here it goes.

On Tuesday, TBS will air, in their prime time slot, a special showing of that moving movie that made all of us realize that regardless of how different our backgrounds may be, all of us, if taught by someone with just the right amount of enthusiasm, endurance, and scripted sass, can in fact slay that daunting demon called calculus. Additionally, each commercial break will begin with short clips of dialogue between Lou Diamond Phillips and his high school drama teacher. Lou will explain that, above all else, this man showed him that the name Diamond shouldn’t be monopolized by some spandex laden lead singer who is, coincidently enough, “hot for teacher.”


...........

Also, Congrats to Jess "Blade" Feller who just got engaged. I'm sure she will be really good at matrimony.